the weblog of David A. Price

It’s no secret that 2008’s heel hasn’t stopped grinding Renee and me into the ground.  Hell, it’s been kicking a lot of people in the taint, I know we do not have the monopoly on that, that’s for certain.  But there aren’t too many experiences that generate the same nausea-inducing feeling I have right now.  Feeling helpless, hopeless, inept, insecure…  The list goes on.

It’s also no secret that Renee is the stronger one between the two of us.  She has the smarts, the looks, I accepted this long ago and I’m cool with it.  To say I was oblivious to what was going on with the mortgage would be a massive understatement.  But I’m working on that, as unfair as it was at the time.

Right now we’re feeling beaten.  Aside from this long battle, 2008 has taken our dog, our time, our money, and pretty much our spirit.

If you’re unaware, last week GMAC closed its doors and laid off over 5,000 people, give or take.  Our broker was one of those people.  But he has our file, is working with a company he has a rapport with, and we should be hearing from him soon.  We were expecting to hear from him Friday, but that didn’t happen.  We didn’t hear from him today, either.  Friday was also the day Renee received some pretty depressing news at work.  Saturday we braced for the storm that was coming with the leftovers from Hannah.  We had a little trickle of water come into the basement, but nothing the dehumidifier couldn’t handle.  But I still freak out a tad when we get or are expecting to get some heavy rainfall.  Luckily this was mostly wind.  Sunday was the only bright spot in recent memory - we went for a drive, had a nice brunch, did some window shopping, picked up some bargain-priced books, came home and spent time with Nanuuq before doing the usual ‘get ready for the work week’ routine.

So yeah, today, still no word on our refinance.  And even though we have proof that the mortgage has been paid every month and in full, the shitheels at ASC (an oh-so-wonderful Wells Fargo company) have been reporting that the payments are late and are only partial.  And it doesn’t look like Equifax believes us or the evidence that supports our claim.

Tonight I called the woman that I love and adore that I would do anything for (and do anything to) and she sounds crushed.  And that’s where the feelings I described come into play.  The idea that I can’t do anything to make this right, to make her feel better, to ease her pain and frustration makes me ill.  I try to scream, nothing comes out.  I’m even too damn spent to cry.

Maybe typing out my various and assorted thoughts will help somewhat.

There are people worse off than us.  Without a doubt.  I wish I could help them.  But as this pity party proves, I can’t even help myself or my wife.

We just want this over.  We mistakenly assumed that 2008 would be ‘our year’.  We get it.  It’s not.  You win.

Happy fucking birthday to me.

Nikki passed away last night. She was stubborn, mean, a bully, a cuddlebum, loving, tough, protective, and a light in our lives. No matter what I write, it won’t reflect how we feel or what she meant to us. Love ya, Nikki. We miss you lots.

Nikki

I can only hope I gave you a good life. I know you brightened mine.

Renee and I are saddened to hear of the passing of our friend Clark, a beautiful beagle mix.  We found out this evening during a visit to the comic shop that he was euthanized two weeks ago.  Clark enjoyed surveying his domain, that known as Comic Book Heaven.  Clark kept a watchful eye on the employees and customers of the store and never strayed too far from his “mom” Irene.  And he always seemed to know when Renee was with me because he would rarely get out of bed for me, making sure I knew who made his tail wag.

One of our most beloved and cherished memories (as well as one of our favorite stories) of Clark dates back a couple of years when we first brought Nanuuq to meet him.  It was a Sunday afternoon, not too busy in the store with only a handful of customers.  While Irene, Renee, and I chatted, Nanuuq and Clark were getting acquanted.  We were amused as once the sniffing ended they started to chase each other playfully.  However, all of a sudden it was full steam ahead and Nanuuq and Clark were zipping around the racks and shelves, flying around customers, and speeding from one end of the store to the other and back again.  Renee asked Irene if perhaps we should intervene, have the dogs to slow it down and reign it in a bit.  Irene said with a smile, “No.  If the customers don’t like it, they can leave”.  This continued for a short while until they tired themselves out from the excercise.  They made their way to counter and Clark’s water bowl.  Nanuuq watched as Clark took a lap or two of water, and then Clark raised his head, looked at Nanuuq, and motioned to her to drink.  I thought Renee was going to start crying and never stop over this dog that was such a gentleman.  Nannuq drank, leaving some for Clark, and then they rested.  And again they played for a little while before we had to leave.

There are many people that Clark meant so much to.  We were lucky to have known him and blessed to have loved him.

Clark, you will be missed.